Cult of sons: unborn girls' fate in Uzbekistan

"A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life." - Irish Saying

Through the ages, a sacred tradition has woven its threads across the heartland of Central Asia. A tradition that dances between honor and anticipation, each birth hailed as a symphony of hope. Yet, within this tapestry, there exists an unwavering decree - an unspoken rule that casts a shadow upon the purest of joys. The decree echoes with a haunting refrain: "A son must be born first." If this principle is violated, then often women give birth until they have a son, and even resort to abortion at the insistence of a spouse or family. Unfortunately, such discrimination on the basis of gender has not bypassed Uzbekistan.

39-year-old Durdona's visit to gynecologist ended up being full of tears and hurtful words. A mother to three daughters, she found herself pregnant once more – only to learn that she was expecting another girl.

During Durdona's fourth pregnancy, the entire family held onto a strong belief that this time, a long-awaited boy would grace their lives. But as the day of revelation arrived, and the doctors unveiled the unborn child's gender, she was enveloped not only in fear of disclosing the news to her husband, but also in an overwhelming desire to avoid returning home altogether. In the midst of hope and longing, an ultrasound revealed the truth – a girl. Durdona shared her experience, confessing,

"Despite the weight of anticipation and dreams, the ultrasound indicated another girl. Shame coursed through me, even though I understood that the outcome was not within my control."

Summoning her courage, Durdona eventually confided in her husband. His reaction was a storm of anger, his voice a tempest of disappointment. He raged, berating her for not bearing a male heir, coercing her into considering an abortion. When she chose to stand against this, her husband's threatened her with divorce leaving her alone to fend for their three children. She later agreed to surrender the life within her.

"I don't hold him entirely at fault. My resentment is aimed at my own weakness,"

Durdona's confession echoes with self-blame. The weight of her decision bears heavy on her heart. She laments her own surrender, her own act of terminating the existence she nurtured. She carries the burden of becoming the agent of her child's departure from this world, a fate she never wished for.

As highlighted by Kamola Fazlieva, a practicing obstetrician-gynecologist, in interview to Uznews, the prominence of the son-centric cultural phenomenon remains a pressing issue in Uzbekistan. Over her decade-long career, Fazlieva has encountered a substantial number of such instances. She reveals that in situations where a couple has welcomed only daughters and this fact is once again affirmed through an ultrasound, women often hurriedly seek abortions by the twelfth week of pregnancy.

Where does the law stand?

Article 18 of the legislation titled "Ensuring the Preservation of Citizens' Reproductive Well-being" stipulates that induced abortion is conducted based on a woman's request within the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. Moreover, medical justifications, warranting the termination irrespective of pregnancy duration, are also considered, particularly if the pregnant woman's life is endangered. Concurrently, medical practitioners are obligated to communicate the potential adverse aftermaths of the abortion to the women concerned.

A medical professional mentiones that certain medical institutions have regulations that restrict abortions unless valid justifications exist for pregnant women. Fazlieva's assessment reveals that a significant proportion of women opt for abortion independently, constituting 50% of cases. About 40% make this choice due to pressures exerted by their spouses, while the remaining 10% do so influenced by other family members.

The predominant scenario involves women who are inclined to terminate pregnancies, often out of fear that their inability to bear a son might lead to marital discord or estrangement. Fazlieva says, "The most common situation is where women express a desire to terminate pregnancy due to apprehensions such as 'I'm worried my husband might leave me if I can't give him a son'."

However science says that the gender of your baby is determined by the chromosome it receives from its father. While the mother's egg consistently carries an X (female) chromosome, the father's sperm carries either an X (female) or a Y (male) chromosome. When fertilization occurs, these chromosomes combine. If they are XY, a baby boy is conceived; conversely, if they are XX, a baby girl is conceived, Clearblue mentiones.

Cult of sons

The origins of the cult of sons in Uzbekistan can be traced back to deep-seated cultural and historical factors that have shaped societal norms and values over generations. In many traditional societies, including Uzbekistan, the preference for male offspring can be attributed to a combination of factors:

Lineage and inheritance: Historically, in patriarchal societies, the male lineage played a crucial role in passing down family names, wealth, and property. Sons were seen as the rightful heirs who would carry on the family legacy, manage resources, and provide for the elderly parents.

Workforce and labor: Traditional societies often relied on physical labor for sustenance and survival. Sons were seen as valuable members of the workforce who could assist in agricultural or labor-intensive activities, contributing to the family's economic stability.

Social status: The birth of a son was often associated with enhanced social status, symbolizing the strength and continuity of a family. This perception influenced the community's respect and esteem for families with male heirs. 

“The fact that I have a son is a pride. Having a son makes me more authoritative in the eyes of relatives, neighbors and acquaintances,”

says one of many man in society. 

Gender roles and expectations: Gender roles in traditional societies assigned specific roles to men and women. Sons were expected to take on roles associated with authority, protection, and provision, while daughters were often seen as transitioning to another family after marriage.

Religious and cultural beliefs: Some religious and cultural beliefs emphasize the importance of male descendants for religious rituals, continuity of traditions, and carrying out familial duties.

Traditions and cultural stereotypes play a significant role in perpetuating the cult of boys in Uzbekistan, reinforcing a preference for male children over female ones. These deeply ingrained beliefs and societal norms contribute to the unequal treatment and valuation of genders, ultimately shaping family dynamics, societal attitudes, and individual aspirations. 

At 24 years of age, Malika has been happily married for over a year. However, she and her husband have decided to take their time before embarking on the journey of parenthood. Despite their personal choice, well-meaning relatives from both sides persistently express their wishes for them to start a family, particularly hoping for the arrival of baby boys.

Malika's upbringing was colored by her relationship with her brother. Throughout her childhood, she sensed a distinct preference for him within the family. The differential treatment, guided by his gender, became evident through the extra support and attention he received. He was encouraged to pursue education, explore professional opportunities, and embark on travels, while she felt nudged domestic skills like cooking and baking, and tasked towards household responsibilities.

While Malika's parents never actively discouraged her from seeking higher education, she yearned for more support in her aspirations. The opportunity to apply to the university was not withheld, but it was met with a lack of active encouragement, leaving her to navigate her ambitions with limited guidance. 

"Still, it was felt that parents relied oh him more than me. It’s a pity he didn’t appreciate this. He was often rude to our mother, made scenes, disrespected our father. However they would always scold me, even when I was just expressing my opinion."

Rituals for having a baby boy 

Various customs and practices are observed in Uzbekistan in the quest to conceive a male child, rooted in the hope of continuing the lineage. People resort to a range of folk remedies and methods believed to enhance the likelihood of having a son. These practices might involve predictions or astrological calculations to pinpoint the most auspicious moments for conceiving a boy.

One common ritual involves women who desire a son seeking the assistance of those who have given birth to boys before. They might request that these women wear their clothing, including trousers or pants, as a symbolic gesture thought to influence the outcome. Distinct cultural customs relating to names are observed in different countries. In Uzbekistan, for instance, a girl might be named "Ugiloy," signifying "moon boy." In Azerbaijan, parents with multiple daughters sometimes select names like "Yetyar," "Kifayat," and "Gizbasti," meaning "enough of girls."

Despite the deep-rooted faith in these practices, their efficacy remains uncertain. While there might be rare cases where such methods seem to succeed, the true gender of a child is beyond prediction or planning. 

The cult of sons weaves a complex tapestry, woven by traditions and cultural biases that persist through generations. The birth of a boy is celebrated as an orchestra of hope, yet the shadow of a deeply ingrained decree casts its weight upon this joyous celebration. As traditions bend and minds open, the narrative of the cult of boys might one day be replaced by the symphony of equality and inclusivity.